Out with the old and in with the new!

Well tomorrow will be a week sense I was notified that I was being laid off.   Yesterday at midnight was officially my last day L   I really have gone through a huge amount of emotions that I never figured I would have.   I was shocked, in denial, mad, hurt, abandoned, heartbroken, sad, used and so on.

One of the things that I really didn't expect is that Evergreen has really defined who I am as a person.  Now I feel like I need to redefine who I am, it is kind of scary but also way cool too.   I feel like I am in uncharted territory for sure.   I find that I’m in a new house that I have hardly spent time in.  A new town that I really have not explored and now no job. It all intimidates me, Evergreen has always been that constant in my life and not its not there.  

One of the things that has really helped out is that I have had some quiet time to myself.  Tina and the girls went to PA to see her mom for Christmas.  So I have had the house to my self for a few days now and it has really given me some quality time to process things.  

I am excited that I have the opportunity to redefine myself and can make some changes to myself.  I think I need to take stalk in what in important to me in life and head in that direction.  On Christmas Eve I worked my last plane for Evergreen International Airlines.   I was worried that I would get all emotional; being the waterworks had been flowing up until then.  But surprisingly it was just like any airplane turn that I did in the past.  It was very controlled on my part and smooth running with no hitches.   I pride myself on always doing the best I can do and on time departure at all times if I can make it happen.  My friend took this photo of me as the plane was departing.

I am scared and sad that this is the end of this road.  However I am also excited at the thought of what the future will bring!

Broken Heart and unemployeed

I am venturing onto a new era in my life.  On the 26^th  of this month will be my last day working for Evergreen International Airlines.   This is only the 2^nd time in my life that this has happened to me.   The last time it happened was after the summer ended when I was working for Alaska Airlines close to 20 years ago. I have to admit I am a bit upset at how things transpired.  The company waited until the last flight out of Miami to tell me on the 21^st.   I had spent all week working morning and night flights with minimal sleep and only to get told you’re done.  I feel hurt and broken, I love the job I do, and I love the company I work for as well.  Next August would have been 10 years with them.

I find myself in an odd position, I had promised myself that if I ever got laid off that I would not go back into the aviation field and try something new.   I find this pretty scary because at this point over the last 20 years I have really only have worked in the aviation field.  

  

I wonder if this is a way for God to push me into a new direction.   I find that I get in this comfortable zone and I really don’t want to move on.   I don’t want to be out of my happy zone!  So where to go now is the question, should I finish school, move over to another airline?   It is interesting how life brings you new and different choices. 

Working for the Evergreen has always been my comfort and constant in life through many different moves to different cities and especially through life’s changes.  Now I find myself surrounded by all new and no constant at all, it feels so overwhelming right now.    

Planes and Wedding Dresses

Well I have been crazy busy sense my last post.   I left Miami and stopped a few days in Savannah GA on the way home to work 2 planes.  

I got home for 5 days and back to Miami for a day and back home to catch a plane in Charleston.   I have driven over 7,000 miles on the rental car sense the end of October when I rented it. The last 2 weeks I have had the opportunity to work a the MCC Food bank as I was passing through going home.   Seeing the huge need for food in Charleston makes me so blessed that I have a job!

Tomorrow I will get to go the church that the family has been going; I’m excited to see the church service.  Not sure how they will be with Tina and I though, they kind of seen a bit conservative.

I will head back to Miami after church for a week of the Christmas rush.  I don’t think it will be too bad we will have a plane in the early morning and in the later evening.   Last year I was working in Minneapolis and the way the planes were coming in we were only having 4 or 5 hours in-between and you had to decide between sleep or eating.

Today Tina and I took Brenna to shop for a wedding dress.  I was not really sure if we were going to find the dress of her dreams but sure thought that we could start looking anyway.  She tried on several but it was the 3^rd one that caught her eye.   I just loved how her eyes lit up; you could tell it was the one for her.   I think this was the easy part, now the work will come in planning the wedding though.   Brenna has decided that she wants a fairly small wedding and mostly inviting immediate family members.  We are thinking of having it at my 2^nd home as well to make it special.

A bit lonely.

This trip has seems like it will never end and I really have not been gone too long.   It may be because I will only have had 6 days off this month and traveled most of them.  I think for me though is really being lonely had hit me the hardest.   When I traveled to PA and stayed at the Inn everyone there is more than a fiend they are like my 2^nd family.  Traveling down here to Miami I have really not had time to meet that many people.  I have been so fortunate to meet this cool person Jules that is down here for a year.  She came over the other day and it really helped so much with the loneliness.  Sense we have moved to the new town I have only stay at the new house 3 night and they really weren't full night either because of traveling.   I guess I feel like I don’t have a place to call home yet?  At some point after the 1^st of the year I should have more time home and can start to feel like I belong there.   Being gone as much as I am I really am concerned about finding and meeting friends.   I am blessed with having my spouse and 2 children at the house so there is that comfort.

Yesterday morning I got to put a faces to some voices that I have been hearing when I was in my hotel room.   These people that are staying next to me are so loud!   The husband and wife are always fighting, bickering and such.  I was down having a late breakfast in the lobby and these people were waiting for someone.  I thought I recognize the guy voice but really not too sure.  It was a pretty good size group of people and you could tell they were family.   Then this lady comes down and just starts in at this guy, screaming at the top of her lungs right there in the lobby.  He starts yelling back at her; yep they are the mystery people staying next to me that yell all night long at each other.  I can only speculate on how long they have been married, but given their age it seems that they have been married probably for more than 40 years.  The way the family responded really indicated that this is a normal thing on their part.   I think every marriage has some dysfunction; I am so happy that Tina and I are not like that though.

My last weeks travels

I have been busy from my last post.   I have driven around 3000 miles in about a week’s worth of time.

A brief summary I drove from Miami home, and then the next day we drove to Tina’s mom’s house in Pennsylvania. The following day Tina and I drove up to New Hope Pa to spend a night at the Fox and Hound Inn to celebrate our 20^th Anniversary; we were kind of late being it was the 3^rd of the month but this has been the only time that I have been home though. The next day we drove back to her mom’s house so we could do Thanksgiving the next day.  The day after thanksgiving we drove home and the next day I drove to Miami back to work.

Out of the whole trip the time with Tina was so special to me.   It has been over a year sense we have spent any alone time without the girls.   What really made it special was that we stayed at The Fox & Hound Inn.  For us it is such a special place with many cool memories as a couple. For me I have so many happy memories from there and it really is my second home because of the amount of time I have spent there this year.  The last time Tina was there was when she and the girls joined me for last Christmas.   What really made this visit cool was we got to stay in room 101.  Because I have stayed at the Inn so much I have names for all the rooms but this room is the most special room out of them by far.   I call this the Rebirth room, being it was the room I recovered from after surgery and it is the starting of the new phase of life for both Tina and I.   So when I was booking this trip I was overjoyed that we could spend a night in the room and it was very fitting to celebrate our anniversary.   That night we started celebrating with a nice bottle of wine and got to share it with Sara my good friend that works there.  It was so nice to catch up on what was happening in her life and share what was happening in ours as well.  Lisa and Michael the owners of the Inn joined us later on and we all had a great time talking.   After that we headed off to dinner at DeAnna's for a wonderful dinner.  It was so romantic and the food was so good!   It was such a nice way of to end a wonderful day with Tina, what a way to reconnect with each other. 

Wine Tasting

When I travel I always like to go to a new church.  I did my usual Google search and came up with Plymouth Congregational Church.  I really liked how old the church was and also they did say they were accepting and affirming so I thought I would give it a try.   I really did enjoy the service and loved what the pastor talked about in his sermon.  In one of the readings of the bible that they did was of how women for many years had been bleeding and touched Jesus garment and was healed.   He piggy backed on that on how touch is so important to us today.     He gave many examples of how we communicate by touch in many different ways, or when things are tough we reach out to touch the ones that we love.

It really hit home for me especially over the last month.  Recently we just had to put Abby to sleep when we were moving to Rock Hill.   Interestingly one of the ways that Abby and I really communicated was for me to hold her paw.   It was a way that we showed each other our love.  She loved to have her paw held, she would sit up on my lap and put her paw on my had to be held and sit there and purr up a storm.  As she was passing, I did get to hold her paw one last time.   Sure was a hard time for both Tina and I, and we reached out to hold each other’s hands as well.  We have always reached out to hold each other’s hands when things get tough.  I think we all need a hand to be held once and a while, I’m sure glad that I have Tina’s to be there for me. 

On a happier note one of the things that they mentioned in the service was a wine tasting event in conjunction with St Stephens Church that evening.   It really did peak my interest, I have never been to a wine tasting before.  St Stephens’s church’s AIDS ministry was putting it on as a fund raiser for their ministry.   Normally I am really shy and will not try new things by myself much less go somewhere I really don’t know anyone.   However it was held at a wine store about 3 blocks from the hotel I am staying and I really did want to see the wine store so I gathered up my courage and took a walk up to it.  I was so shocked at how nice and welcoming the people were.   They greeted me and treated me so nice and friendly, I so didn't expect that.    A nice couple George and his husband Manuel and Lydia took me under their wings and introduced me to so many people.  We had such a good time talking, drinking good wine and eating some really good appetizers.   It really reminded me that I need to keep pushing myself to get out more, because if I wouldn't have done that I would have missed out on so much. 

Weeks Reflections

I had time the other day to as is was relaxing at this wonderful beach to reflect on the last week’s events. 

 I think the highlight has been that Tina and I celebrated our 20^th wedding anniversary on the 3^rd.   I look back at the years and they seem like they have just flown by.  Like most couples we have had our ups and downs but all in all I feel so blessed to have Tina in my life.   As I was showing pictures of Tina and I to a friend the other day she said we have a true love story.  I think that her comment really does sum up our relationship so well.

A couple of post back I was talking about my suitcase and all the baggage we carry in life, I related it to my broken suitcase that I had.   Well I finally bought a new suitcase J

My baggage in life I have also been working hard in clearing excess out that I have been carrying around too.  With the recent move I think that will is going to really help.   I also have a few relationships that have been toxic as well.  I have been addressing them and either trying to fix them or limit the effect they have in life on me. I always find the family relationships to be the most troubling, I feel like I owe more to the relationships because they are family, but how far is too much?

Our family and animals are adjusting to the new house.  I think Brenna and I made the right choice on picking houses.