Trip to Gravity Hill Farm

On Tuesday Sara brought me along to a wonderful farm that sell some great produce.   What was so cool is all the produce that was for sale had just been picked that day.   I bought some salad and yellow beans.  It so wonderful to have such fresh produce, the taste is so much better!

After we bought our produce we went to see the animals the best part J   They have Llamas, alpacas, chickens and goats there.   I really love Llamas; I just think they are so cute and cuddly.   

These had been shaved recently so they were kind of homely in a cute way. I’m sure they are enjoying having shorter fur though with the summer heat coming on though.  We also spent time with the goats as well.  They were so friendly and just loved to get attention. 

Here is a link to their web page Gravity Hill Farm gravityhillfarm

Fathers Day Church

I have a interesting father’s day storey to tell, but before I do that I wanted to wish all the fathers out there a big Happy Fathers Day!   It is not always easy to be a father and I commend all of the fathers out there.   I feel really blessed that I am a father of two wonderful children.  How every I am filling more of the disciplinarian mother role now daysJ.   So it is not one of those musts to celebrate father’s day for me.

Well let’s get to the story at hand….

I worked late last night and didn’t get back in until 2am.  I didn’t feel like driving down to Chestertown to my friend’s church, or to drive to Philly to a MCC church that I know I would feel more comfortable in.   I thought that I would pick a local church so I did the usual Google search.   There happened to be a church meeting about a block away from was I am staying.  I pulled up there web page and saw they were meeting a 10am and set my alarm to get up in time to get breakfast and make it there by 10am.

I did notice that they were a bible based church and I really do like that; however they did seem to be more on the conservative side of what I feel comfortable with though.   I struggled to get out of bed as the alarm clock was squawking at me. I had the great usual breakfast and off I went to church.   I usually try to not go with my first impressions because I want to get to know things first.  I have found you don’t always see the whole story at first.  As I walked in I was not greeted at all, being new it is already unnerving on what and where to go.  It was weird being there was people standing at the door, they just chose not to say anything to me L   As I started to walk into the auditorium the pastor saw me and not being greeted and came over and gave me a bulletin.   I proceeded in not feeling welcome and found a place to be seated.   As people came in and saw that I was new, yet not one person made any effort to greet me at all.  I go to many churches as I travel so I’m used to being new but this church had to be one of the unfriendly that I have been to as of yet.   So as services go it was kind of the usual Baptist type, so here is where the interesting part comes in.   In part of the service the Pastor wanted to have any fathers in the audience to come up and give a testimonial to being a father and what God has done in their lives.   It was funny because there really were not many that wanted to come up and they were reluctant.  What really got me though was the spirit really was moving me to stand up proudly and say my testimonial on how God had blessed my family and I.   In the end didn’t because I can only imagine what crazy issues I would have caused in a church that I don’t even attend regularly.  I don’t know if I did the right thing in retrospect though.  I think once again I overlooked and over though what god leads me to do.   I hope that someday I will be able to be to the point I just do when God speaks and not over think things.  I am going to give the church a second try next Sunday even though my first impressions are not so good, they may be wrong.   If they aren't I will move on to finding another church though.

Fireworks

Today I find myself sitting outside on the front porch of my home away from home enjoying the great weather.  The sun is out with hardly any clouds and a little bit of a breeze to keep is at a very comfortable temperature.    It is so calm and peaceful day, there is lots going on in town today but I just feel like sitting here and just taking in the world.  There is all different kinds of bird on the lawn getting worms and bugs for their babies, and there 2 rabbits that are coming out of the hedges eating the grass.  I enjoy the calmness of it all.

One of my favorite parts of staying in New Hope is the Friday night fireworks in the summer.   Last time I was here they were just going to start them and the river was too high so they canceled the show.   I guess I am really sentimental about the whole area and what the fireworks represent to me here I think.

I’m not one for really talking about personal things mostly because I really have a hard time getting my thoughts across clearly.  I will try though and tell you how I feel about this situation in my meager writing skills.  I see the New Hope fireworks as a freedom for me.  It represents the end of the old and unhappy person and the beginning of a new and very happy person.  I remember the 1^st time that I so wanted to see them I was laying flat on my back in bed last summer recovering from surgery.  There was no way I was going to get out of bed at that time to see them.   However the following week I was feeling much better.  I was not able to walk to well so Tina and I drove downtown Lambertville to find a parking place early.   When it got closer we got out of the car we walked down by the river to watch them.   I still remember the pain standing waiting for them to go off.   It too all I could do to stay standing waiting for them to go off.   It so was worth it though, I can still remember all the emotions and how I stood there with tears coming down my face.   It was a very powerful moment for me.   During that time Tina and I got to spend two weeks of uninterrupted time.  It was so special to get to reconnect with her in a new and different ways we have never done before.

Almost a year later I still find myself here in the New Hope area, staying here when I’m working in NJ.  Last night I got to see the fireworks.   I watched them from the bridge this time, was way easier to walk downtown from the B&B this time. J      The fireworks were shorter this time, but still very wonderful.  I was hoping I would be strong and not get all emotional but I couldn’t hold the tears of joy back though.  I look back on the last year I am such a happier and better person then I ever thought I could be.   I could never have gotten this far though if Tina was not so supportive spouse.  Thank you Tina!

http://newhopelambertvillefireworks.com/videos/ 

Graduation week

Well last week was incredibly busy for our family.  I drove home from work in PA on the 23^rd to get home for Christa’s graduation from 5^th grade.   It seems like the years have flown by, I can’t believe our baby in going to be a 6^th grader next year!   She was I a talent show last week as well and got a nice trophy for her dance.   I so wish I could have been there for her performance.  

Then on the 24^th my parents came to town.  It has been over 2 years sense I have seen my dad and a year sense I have seen my mom.  I think because of the not seeing each other for so long and the already strained relationship sure made it hard for all of us.    Tina’s mom came a day later to add the stress to a new level.   Now the grandparents get jealous of how much time each one gets to spend with the girls.

  

Saturday was our big day though; Brenna had her high school graduation!   Both Tina and I are so proud of her and how hard she worked to get to that point.  It was so nice to have all the family together to support her.  Tina and I were reflecting on how fast the time seemed to go by.  It just seems like yesterday when she was going to her 1^st day of school in Sitka.  Over the last two years we have seen how she has blossomed into a nice young woman.   I can’t wait to see what she does in her future.

What should I name my bear?

Last July My wife Tina gave me this teddy bear to me while I was in the hospital for a week.  It is funny I don’t have any stuffed animals other than this one, and I really am not into them either.  However I have really become fond of this one.  It was so comforting when to squeeze it when I was laying flat on my back in the hospital.  Even now when I’m feeling blue I love to grab hold of it and think happy thoughts and all is better.   I have taken it on all of my trips but one when I forgot to put it in the suite case.  It is just the right size to travel with me, and doest take up space.  I have lots of nice memories with this bear, being that I travel well over a 100 days with it.  A few days ago I realized that I failed to do something though; I have not given it a name yet.   I have just been calling it my bear.   So I am now on a quest to name it.  I am interested in what you think I should name it?  My first thoughts are New Hope, or Bristol.  So please leave me any thoughts of name ideas J

Progression of New Years Resolutions

I was pondering how well my progression and lack of progression of the New Year’s resolutions that I made.  In the past I really have hated to make any resolutions because it has always been something that I would end up blowing off and never coming close to meeting.  Maybe they have been too steep to be done, or just my lack of motivation to completing them.  This year like all the previous years I made a few resolutions with the expectation that I would fail to meet them again.  One of my goals was to lose weight and be healthier.  I didn’t set a weight because I didn’t want to fail. I have lost 20 lbs but gain 5 back so far this year.  Another goal was to be more physically active as well.  I started walking the 1^st part of the year with Tina and was really struggling to walk a mile or so.  At the same time I also started to eat a little healthier, which has evolved into eating vegetarian.  That kind of was an unexpected curve that I would have never thought I would have take, yet I am so happy I have chosen it now though.   I have also hit walking 5 to 7 miles a day in walking as well.   So I think that I am going to set a new goal.   I think it’s going to be a push and as usual I am worried that I will fail.  I am wanting to be able to run 5 miles by the end of summer.  I hope that I will make it to this new goal, it isn’t so generic like before and I think it will also push me physically as well.

I do have to laugh though; I really did blow one of my resolutions pretty bad.   I made one that I wanted to put the transgender part of me more in the background of life.  I really missed the mark so bad on that so far this year.   In January I got to help my friends as they went through gender confirmation surgery, which was so cool to be there with them.  March we did the Dr Oz show on transgender families.   It really has turned out to be a blessing though because I really have met so many great people that I’m really glad I missed blew this New Year’s resolution! 

Where do we learn to hate?

In the news lately there sure have been a lot of sad stories about how another transwoman was murdered and another teen committed suicide for not fitting in.  When is it going to be enough of this hatred and bulling, when is society going to realize that everyone has value as a human being! 

As babies we are born unbiased to everything.   So where do we learn to hate some one that is different from us?   Is it from TV, religion, scouting programs, teachers in our schools or parents?  How does society determine that being LGBT is any more unacceptable then being different in any other ways?  Who are the people that make the decisions of what is normal in our society? 

The last few weeks I had the opportunity to get to know two really cool moms while I was working up north.  What I really liked is that they unconditionally accepted their children for who they are.  In a very difficult time of major change in their lives, these moms’s chose to stick by daughters and support them 100%.  Because both of those moms chose to accept their daughters early on in their changes, the relationships have just blossomed into a close bond that every mother and daughter longs for.   This gives me hope that maybe someday my mom might be able to accept me as her daughter.  But more importantly it made me think about my relationship with our two daughters. I want them to know that we will be supportive of them even if they are different from what society thinks they should be.   I also want them to be accepting with everyone that they may interact with as well.  My hopes are that this next generation can put the stop to all the hatred out in this world.