Poems of change

Tina and I went to a writing seminar by Ray McGinnis on writing through grief at Holy Covenant UCC.  We have only attended 3 services so far be we feel very at home there.  I have attended many churches but by far this is the most friendly one I have every attended.

Tina, myself and Brenna thought that it would be a cool thing to do together as well as a way to meet people at the church.  I also thought I might be able to take away some ideas to help me write a little better.

One of the exercises that we had to do was do a alphabet poem.

I found it interesting that Tina and I would have chose the same topic to write about.  
We shared  them in small groups, and one of the ladies said that what we wrote was reminded her of wedding vows for each other.

This is what we wrote:

The Alphabet of Changes

By Brynne Soukup

 A few changes I have made from

Brian to Brynne the

Changes have been hard and

Difficult

Eventually I have

Found the

Great Joy in my

Heart of who

I am now. The

Journey almost

Killed our

Long

Marriage.

Now

Our relationship though is stronger than ever!

People often

Question why Tina would stay in the

Relationship.  I know

She

Truly loves me and is dedicated to me

Until death do us part.  I

Very much

Want her to know

eXactly how much I love her the same way too!

Yesterdays love and hurt is gone, but there is future love to come!  Our lives may be

 craZy at times but we have our love to share ALWAYS.

Alphabet  Poem

By Tina Soukup

Although it’s

Been 2 years since the transition I still mourn the loss of my Brian.  We met and fell in love at

College in 1991 and then in 1992

Decided to get married.  Actually, we

Eloped.  That really blew the minds of

Family members!  I never would have

Guessed at the time that Brian was transgender.

He was always the “manly man”; hiking, fishing, working

In his uncles tire shop.  I

Just sometimes feel betrayed. I married a man.  I wanted someone to have children with and

Keep us safe.  I still love the person I married.  But the

Loss of

My husband still saddens me.   I can

Now understand and see how I missed the

Obvious signs early in our relationship.  Some

People don’t understand why I stay.  I’ve never

Questioned my love for the person inside.  I

Respect and

Stand beside my soul mate.  We have

Two beautiful daughters to show for devotion to each other.   But I don’t think I’ll ever

Understand why Brian didn’t

Voice his true feelings to me

When we got serious as a couple.  I would like to

examine those thoughts and

whY Brian didn’t feel secure enough to tell me.  It should be black and white like a

Zebra’s stripes.

1 year Anniversary

Today started out is such a awesome way, as I was working the plane Kristie my co worker hugged me and wished me happy rebirth day J   One of the rampers that was helping us load our airplane sang happy birthday to me over the intercom.   WOW I about cried!   How sweet, so today is my 1^st year anniversary of gender confirmation surgery.    As I look back on it a year ago I was in the hospital all juiced up on morphine in a daze.  It was a scary time, but so well worth it.   I have been blessed beyond belief with a spouse and children and job that are so supportive.  Without them I would have never made it to where I am today.   I find myself today in Seattle full circle, about 6 years ago we were living here and I was working over 100 hours a week at work to keep myself consumed and my mind off my struggle and deep drive to be a women.   Now here I am working at the airport as a strong confident woman.    6 years of struggling and now I am who I always should have been and truly the happiest that I have ever been!  

Thank you to all that have helped me along the way.   I rarely show photos of my prior self but given today is a special day I figure I will show you a few.

Trip to Gravity Hill Farm

On Tuesday Sara brought me along to a wonderful farm that sell some great produce.   What was so cool is all the produce that was for sale had just been picked that day.   I bought some salad and yellow beans.  It so wonderful to have such fresh produce, the taste is so much better!

After we bought our produce we went to see the animals the best part J   They have Llamas, alpacas, chickens and goats there.   I really love Llamas; I just think they are so cute and cuddly.   

These had been shaved recently so they were kind of homely in a cute way. I’m sure they are enjoying having shorter fur though with the summer heat coming on though.  We also spent time with the goats as well.  They were so friendly and just loved to get attention. 

Here is a link to their web page Gravity Hill Farm gravityhillfarm

Wheres the Love?

 We have a dog named Oscar.   I remember the night I brought him home he just jumped right up next to Tina on the couch and made himself home like he was part of the family.   From that point on he has been bringing joy to our family.  What amazes me is his endless love that he gives to each one of us in the family.  He always loves on someone, and it is always unconditional.   If you’re sick he knows it and he’s right there to comfort you as well.    If he sees your sad he comes right over and gives you kisses.

I wonder how the world would be if we all had the trait of unconditional love?  One of the greatest commandments that Jesus taught is in Mark 12:31 is Love your neighbor as yourself.  There is no commandment greater than these.   It seems that society has come to a point where we can’t love each other or we can only love you with conditions.   A good example of this is the Million moms group that most recently tried to boycott JC Penny’s for having Ellen DeGeneres promoting their products.  Now they are protesting Toys R Us because they are selling Archie comic that has a gay couple getting married on the cover.  We see it in politics today as well; all the republican candidates are trying to outdo each other on who is the most conservative and just saying nasty things.  We also see it in the Democrats as well painting the Republicans in a bad way too. 

 We are all uniquely designed and because of this we are all different, we should not let these differences stop us from loving each other.   I am going to try to take Oscars view on love and put it into practice in my life.