Church and social justice

This last weekend Tina and I joined Holy Covenant Church in Charlotte NC.   We have truly found our church home.   What I really like about this church is that it is very biblical based and also very active in social justice issues.  I am finding that social justice issues really matter to me in life now.

Photo take by Debbie Davis

 Recently I have chosen to become involved with Scout for Equality.  I am going to be a Council Organizer.   It has been about 22 years sense I have really had much to do with the Boy Scouts.     I am hoping that Scouts for Equality and I will be able to change the anti LGBT position that the Boy Scouts of America has chosen to take.  As I have written in past posts I have pretty strong views about how the BSA can make a very positive change in a boy’s life.  All boys should have a opportunity to experience what the BSA can offer.    If you too would like to help make a change please check out Scouts for Equality.

Would you rather be right or have a relationship?

This last week has been pretty hectic.  We have been searching for a new car for Tina and out to get the best deal for the money.  We have test driven several and came close to buying on the weekend.   But the dealership and I couldn't come to an agreement on the price.  

I explored the idea of going back to school to finish my degree.   If I was to continue I would need 7 classes left to graduate.   I feel like it is a good time to finish it only because I have not found a job as of yet.   However is sure isn't a good time for it financially though.    I still have not made up my mind as of yet but today I am leaning on not continuing though.

On Sunday we went to church that we are thinking may be our new church home.   When we were in the new member’s inquiry class, the pastor made an interesting comment that really hit home for me.

She was explaining about how the UCC churches when through a time of struggle were some churches didn't want to be all inclusive like some were.   The two sides couldn't really come to term with each other.  At one of their yearly meetings one of the ministers gave a sermon entitled “Would you rather be right or have a relationship”.    

I really find this to be really true in my life.  In the past I always would rather be right and didn't care if a relationship would suffer.    But I am finding now that I am becoming more interested in a relationship then being right.    I have a few toxic relationships in my life currently and am wondering about maybe focusing in on just the relationship and not being right.   I think partially on my side of the relationship I have been not so open because I was more worried about being right on a few issues that I clearly believed to be wronged.    So I am thinking that maybe I will try a new approach to these relationships.

Poems of change

Tina and I went to a writing seminar by Ray McGinnis on writing through grief at Holy Covenant UCC.  We have only attended 3 services so far be we feel very at home there.  I have attended many churches but by far this is the most friendly one I have every attended.

Tina, myself and Brenna thought that it would be a cool thing to do together as well as a way to meet people at the church.  I also thought I might be able to take away some ideas to help me write a little better.

One of the exercises that we had to do was do a alphabet poem.

I found it interesting that Tina and I would have chose the same topic to write about.  
We shared  them in small groups, and one of the ladies said that what we wrote was reminded her of wedding vows for each other.

This is what we wrote:

The Alphabet of Changes

By Brynne Soukup

 A few changes I have made from

Brian to Brynne the

Changes have been hard and

Difficult

Eventually I have

Found the

Great Joy in my

Heart of who

I am now. The

Journey almost

Killed our

Long

Marriage.

Now

Our relationship though is stronger than ever!

People often

Question why Tina would stay in the

Relationship.  I know

She

Truly loves me and is dedicated to me

Until death do us part.  I

Very much

Want her to know

eXactly how much I love her the same way too!

Yesterdays love and hurt is gone, but there is future love to come!  Our lives may be

 craZy at times but we have our love to share ALWAYS.

Alphabet  Poem

By Tina Soukup

Although it’s

Been 2 years since the transition I still mourn the loss of my Brian.  We met and fell in love at

College in 1991 and then in 1992

Decided to get married.  Actually, we

Eloped.  That really blew the minds of

Family members!  I never would have

Guessed at the time that Brian was transgender.

He was always the “manly man”; hiking, fishing, working

In his uncles tire shop.  I

Just sometimes feel betrayed. I married a man.  I wanted someone to have children with and

Keep us safe.  I still love the person I married.  But the

Loss of

My husband still saddens me.   I can

Now understand and see how I missed the

Obvious signs early in our relationship.  Some

People don’t understand why I stay.  I’ve never

Questioned my love for the person inside.  I

Respect and

Stand beside my soul mate.  We have

Two beautiful daughters to show for devotion to each other.   But I don’t think I’ll ever

Understand why Brian didn’t

Voice his true feelings to me

When we got serious as a couple.  I would like to

examine those thoughts and

whY Brian didn’t feel secure enough to tell me.  It should be black and white like a

Zebra’s stripes.